Dear Steve,
I don't even know why I am sending you this email. But I need to for myself. I'm so scared to send you this..
I know that we have seen a lot of each other over the past 3 weeks and I have tended to show emotions for you rather rapidly, and I can't help that. And, I know that through our talking; via chat or phone or in person, you may find it hard to believe, but I have never had anyone give me attention that you have. The compliments, the closeness, the affection- I have never been on the recieving end of it before. And you're probably asking yourself how was it that I managed to stay married for so long. Well, that all goes back to the old saying you hear so many people say anymore these days - I did it for the kids.
[[I really don't tend to tell you a lot about my past because thats where I want to leave it. Rehashing the past in not a good comfort zone for me. But if there is ever anything you want to know- please ask. I'm not purposely hiding or keeping things from you.]]
I enjoy your company more than you could ever realize and being with you makes me feel wonderful inside. You have given me emotions I never knew I could have. And yes I do want to see you more- but I can't make you do anything that you don't want to.
There has been so many times I have wanted to say so many things to you but I can't because of my fear alone of pushing you away. I don't want to push away at all, I want to see you and spend more time with you. I want to get to know you better and vice versa. The other things we do are just well- yeah you know. Great. And no I wasn't thinking benefits.
I'm not the sort of person that wants a friend with benefits. That's not fair to you or me. I have grown pretty attached to you and I am sure that you are aware of that. I can't help how I feel for you, and I dont want to; to be honest. When I am with you I'm so elated to feel your touches and kisses and I feel more behind your glances and kisses that just mere pecks on the lips or cheeks. There's passion there and I can see in it your eyes. I just can't explain to you how you make me feel.. its all so many things coming at me at once and I can't describe them one by one. Just know that it's amazing and you are wonderful. I wasn't kidding when I told you I could lay in your arms and lose myself with you forever. I just have this feeling of something special inside of me when I am with you when we are sharing our special beautiful moments together. You take my breath away. And as hard as I want to say that I love you I can't. It's sudden and I dunno..I'm scared.
I'm just as scared as you are. But all in the same process I would like to see how things could be between us. I'm hoping for other things but I have no idea what you are thinking. Please don't take this email out of context- I'm not asking for marriage - just asking you to give me a chance to make you happy and bring special moments into your life like you are mine.
Love you.