Less than Perfect
The clock struck 1:32 p.m. on 2003-09-27

Everything is not yesterday..It can't be. I won't face it. But I will run away with tears in my eyes with my heart breaking. What have I done? I never left you, ever. I just went backwards, I can't explain all that is filling me up inside right now- there's just Soo much! Am I supposed to cry over the one I care the most about, even though I've never met you- Yes, I think I'm allowed that much.

I am lost, and confused. I just wished, dreamed and wanted. I never meant to do whatever it is I have done to push you away. God I'm sorry.
I won't leave. Ever...

I wasn't torn between anything because of you I was torn between emotions I brought upon myself, not you. It was never you, don't you understand? I don't want your fingers to brush lightly across my skin in a rememberance of yesterday, we didn't have a chance to begin, or did we and did I miss the feelings and motions of it all? Where was I when you were standing alone on the sandy shores under the moon, reaching for the stars? Was I torn? Or was I unavailable and still just learning, or was I just whatever? I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. And I'm so sorry for being gone, I couldn't help that part of things. And when I thought you wanted to be alone, I never left you, I was still here the entire time. Yes I went back to my old diary, but that doesn't mean I left you.. I was just beginning to come closer to you, or so I thought. And, now.. am I too late?

Before Won't After

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