I haven’t felt like this in God knows how long. I could just stay in his arms forever.
Met up with Steve again last night, or early this morning I guess you could say after I went out and got all kinds of fucked up I called him on his cell phone and asked him to meet me at the bar. And he said “Well, I have to take a shower first” and my hormones went into instant over drive and I said “Oh. Can I come over then?” And he told me he would leave the back door unlocked for me. And I was jumping for joy inside and made Lois take me over to his place after I got out on the dance floor and did the Cha Cha slide. Never did I realize what a hott little dancer I could be all drunk. Yay, me. And then I danced to My Neck, My Back. Ooh what a little dirty dancer I can be. I was naughty. *heh* And just as that song was over I was running out the door to Steve’s. And when I got there I went inside and he was just getting out of the shower. Water still beading on his chest; I just gazed and admired his body, wishing I could just trace my fingers along his skin, trailing my fingers along his chest hairs. But I didn’t and just watched him put his shirt on and waited for him to put his shoes on. As we were getting ready to leave he asked me to wait so he could admire me. He complimented me on my outfit. I had on a white silk top with light green Capri’s and white sandals; with my hair done up in a french braid. I was walking in front of him and he said to me “Come here. I like your hair like this …” and he began kissing me on my neck and I said, “You keep doing that and we will never leave…” and I turned around to look at him and there were those deep green/brown toned eyes. I love his eyes. And I love the look in his eyes when he is looking at me. It’s more than words could ever describe.
He leaned in to kiss me and my oh my, those sweet lips. I could have just melted in his touch forever. Doing what he knows how to do we kissed for what felt like eternity. And I was butter. With his soft breath upon my skin I arched my head back closer to him as he kissed my neck, trailing butterfly kisses along my neck. I was his for as long as he wanted.
We soon went out to eat at a restaurant, me with very little food and him with tons. He was a hungry man. As I watched him eat I was thinking to myself I hope his sex drive is just as hungry; and placed my feet on his thighs. [He tickled my foot, though.] After we left the restaurant we went back to his place and set off on a dream. He asked me if he could get me something to drink, and I said “Anything with alcohol...” and he just smiled and came back with a nice little tippet of a drink- orange flavored Cognac.
He handed me the drink and took my other hand and pulled me closer to him and asked me if I wanted to go upstairs because it was rather hot downstairs. And naturally I said yes. I would have been a fool not to. So we get upstairs and lay on his bed- him with his shirt off and me in just my silk top. We lay beside each other and just talked for a while, while laughing our asses off at his little Chihuahua drinking Cognac. It was quite hysterical. And then finally we locked her up in the bathroom, turned off the lights and held each other and kissed for what seemed like a dreamless moment, passing with time going in slow motion. His lips are so soft and sweet, dripping with a sweet sugary flavor of Oranges. I slowly traced my fingers along his face and lips and just melted… Feeling his skin so close to mine is like taking a hold of Heaven and holding onto it for ever. Wishing I never had to leave, I knew I would in the morning and I just let myself become his. I don’t understand why I can’t stay with him longer, although last night and today was the longest I have spent with him. I find myself closing my eyes and dreaming of the events that took place between last night and today.
As we progressed into kissing and other things he passed out on me, whispering things in between that I don’t think he recalls at all. He told me he loved me. And at first I was so elated to hear him say that to me, and then just as fast I was scared and I didn’t know what to say- so, I just held him closer to me and closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep myself.
Somewhere after some time had elapsed I woke up to him softly whispering for me to lie on my back and he danced a beautiful song on my body with his lips and fingers. I was once again floating on a cloud.
Somewhere in between he fell asleep again and I didn’t progress things further; and just held him closer to me and fell asleep.
I woke up this morning with is head laying on my chest and ran my fingers along his face and arms relishing in all of the happiness to myself as I whispered to him “I could lose myself in your arms forever” I don’t think he heard me though. No matter- today was perfect to me.
I finally came home at 3 p.m. And well things went down hill from there- but I refuse to let it ruin my day. This was by far the best Fourth of July ever. And as I say this aloud.. I’m in love; I’m also scared to death to admit it so openly because I’m so afraid of being jaded. I guess moving slow is ten times better than rushing into to something head over heals, first.
As badly as I want to be him, I can’t push myself or my emotions onto him in fear of pushing him away thinking I am moving too fast. So I continue to move at a slow rate hoping and dreaming that this dream lasts forever.
I do love him though, more than I could ever openly admit to him. Maybe I will tell him, maybe I won’t. I don’t know what to do….