All of my troubles are beginning to settle to the bottomless pit of my soul, anchoring my feet in the sand. Agitating the bile from below me, I can’t move, not that I ever thought I could. I need to swallow my tears and leave my sorrows here. I need to stop relying on words that are lies. They always felt so close, but in the end they always disappear.
I cling to myself for a little while like I was 17 years old again, but this time I see her crying and said, "I'm never, never letting you go again." I kissed the tears away from her eyes and stroked her hair. Once again, seeing myself treating myself right in my own dreams; away from the real world. One of these days I’m going to reach out to find the one that I want has left me behind.
I’m losing my patience and nearing the end. Why can’t I decide where and when?
These are the one things I push away because I feel they do not belong, but they are the most important ones, so however silly or frightening they should be all written down for only the most tiniest details are the most important. Each way I turn in this life there are unknown bends and dark corners that are made from my own mind. The strongest fear that you all bury deep is what other people think of you. I all spend hours of torture when I am worrying about the same thing and spend time and energy worrying about the impressions you give to others when they are using the same excuse. There are many things that can happen to you once you close your eyes, for you have given up the control and until you wake and start thinking “is this the future or the past.” The more you think and tuck it into your subconscious mind, then the more it evolves and comes back. Your emotions when you wake tell you whether it was happy or sad, in the past or the future, if you are looking forward to meeting people or dreading exposure.
Danger always comes in the shape of something wild. I always seem to forget a good dream I have had and always seem to remember the bad ones. And strangers come to me dressed in black and white like hungry monstrous ogres looking for a way to bring me death in my sleep. Empty holes sockets for eyes and skeleton bones for the rest of the body. I always see this image like I did before. I Touched the Death’s Tongue, while burning with the dead I hear the voices inside and I see their faces everywhere. They cry in the dark so I can’t see the tears and they hide in the night so I can’t see their fears- love and pain become one and the same is the eyes of a wounded soul. Is it true as I say to myself that I belong to the darkness? To go along with the things that complicates my mind? Maybe it just becomes a habit and there’s no looking forward and no turning back. You shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and flesh.
All of these things are hardening my heart. And I am living in a constant burning hell.
All fired up -- now I believe there comes a time
All fired up -- when everything just falls in line
All fired up -- we live an' learn from our mistakes
All fired up, fired up, fired up -- *Hey*
Ain't nobody livin', in a perfect world
Everybody's out there, cryin' to be heard
Now I got a new fire, burnin' in my eyes
Lightin' up the darkness, movin' like a meteorit
*the deepest cuts are healed by faith*
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live and learn from our mistakes
The deepest cuts are healed by faith”- Pat Benetar
Fun for the day- Go *Crunch* on this for a while. Major funniness!!