Well, let’s see if I can do a good enough job remembering the nights events last night- since I had to spend half of my day recouping… and no I did not have a hang over thank you kindly. I handle my liquor very well.
Hmm where do to begin- oh yeah…
We all left about 10 pm or a little there after and we all climbed into Nettie’s car. Nettie driving, Lois in the front passenger seat and me the loner that I am was in the back seat.
After we take off Lois makes a comment about having to go to the bank and getting money and I said “Our money” and she said “No, MY money” and I was instantly pissed off. Bitch.
So then we took off to the gas station and she got her stupid cigarettes and I sat in the back seat fuming over the money issue [long story behind that] She came back out with 3 packs of smokes, which none of the three were for me. Those stingy lil’ bitches. *heh*
We finally make it Broadview after Nettie circles the parking lot a dozen times cursing because someone stole her favorite parking spot and making random jokes about people. Something about 5 - 5 and how I couldn’t say it to people unless I hated them. Whatever is all I could think of because neither the two of them would tell me what it meant, other than it was a bad thing. “It’s a very bad, bad, bad thing, Chrissy” and so she finally parked. And I pooted in the car, closing the door entrapping them both- me wanting them to suffocate. I walked off in the direction of the bar laughing my ass off hysterically inside. I made it inside and went straight to the bathroom.
As I sat on the potty I thought of how I wanted to make a scene in the bar and curse out Lois for being a crank ass bitch, but decided not to. Washed my hands and was drying them when in walks Lois. Grr. And she says “Baby want a sugar titi?” Ugh. And I said “Thanks but no thanks. You’re soo not my type” and so then we proceeded back into the bar and I plopped my not so happy ass down on the seat towards the end of the table. Sitting there with my arms folded across my chest I was swearing to myself that I wouldn’t smoke her cigarettes to drink anything. [Never happened] As soon as she went and got two glasses of beer I guzzled the first one down in less than 2 minutes. I wanted to get shit faced and that was my mission. After Nettie got up to go mingle with her friends Lois leans over towards me and says “So. I know why you’re pissy” And I said “Not here. We can talk about it at home.” And she said “No. We talk about it now” And she proceeded to tell me why she said it was her money instead of ours and blah blah blah. I let it go through one ear right out the other. I had a plan. [You will know more about this later on]
So then I said okay and just let it slide. I wanted to get drunk. And so Lois went back to the bar and got us a Kamikaze – Lime flavored. My first impression was eew don’t want any and then I took my first shot and then the next and then the next, and so on. By the time we had 2 sets of Kamikazes I was beginning to feel quite toasty. Then she bought some more beer. Which was all good with me- free drinks + lots of alcohol = me fucked up beyond recognition.
Somewhere I lose place of time and get the urge to smoke and while Lois was away doing her thing I grabbed her smokes and something else. I guess about 10 minutes passed by and she comes back to the table and tells me to go get us some beer and I said okay [It was dollar beer night] and as I was sitting there I see this drop dead gorgeous chick smoking Marlboros- a brand I have never seen before. So I leaned over and asked what kind they were and she just gives me one- I was like hey Score! So as I waited for the bartender gal to come back I sat and talked to this chick and lo and behold her name is Chrissy, too. The pity. *ha*
As I was talking to her I watched her pull her label off of her beer bottle and just couldn’t resist telling her that when you remove a label off of your beer bottle without ripping it means you get a free fucking. When I told her that her eyes shot open and she exclaimed “Oh my god! Really?!” And I said Yes. And so she calls over the bartender and asked her if it was true and to my amazement the bartender told her it was very true. So Chrissy pulls out 4 labels and slams her fist onto the bar and says “I want my free fuckin’!” I busted out laughing soo hard I fell out of my seat. Damn the luck.
I finally made my way back to the table and drank my beer, and then got out on the dance floor and made a wonderful fool of myself. It was grand fun, thank you. I never knew that I could freak dance. Oh, the shame. Not!
Finally made my way back to the table through my missteps of booze taking effect on my senses and coordination and cognitive skills and Nettie tells me and Lois we have to leave or something like that. So we leave and go to another bar- B n B roundup. I hate country bars. But, I had to deal…
So we finally make it to B n B... I don’t know how we made it there though- Lois’ driving was screwed.
We park and enter the bar and boy was it dead... d- e- a- d. Dead!
When we go inside we headed straight for the bathroom, and I go into this stall that has many many pics of half naked cowboys on the wall. And with me being flunked up as I was I started drooling at the picture in the stall and started moaning and licked the damn pic. God Help me!